【Watch Sukeban Deka the Movie 2: Counter】

"Power is Watch Sukeban Deka the Movie 2: Counteralways dangerous. Power attracts the worst and corrupts the best." - Edward Abbey

The other day I had a thought.

There is no general consensus in the world of science as to why we think, though it is considered to be an essential component to humanity. Since there is no true reason as to why thought occurs, I have no choice but to believe I was touched by some divine being; that I, and I alone, was the chosen bearer of this burdensome thought.

And that thought was: how old is Mario from the Mario Bros. games?

For the entirety of my life, up until this very moment, something had kept me from asking this question. I can't explain why it suddenly came to me. It was as if my brain was subconsciously protecting me from the true answer.

SEE ALSO: 7 news headlines from inside 'The Legend of Zelda' universe

I did a quick Google search to quell my curiosity and discovered something horrifying. Something no man was meant to see.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Mario from the Super Mario games, according to official Nintendo canon, is 26 years old.

I had defied God and this was my punishment.

I did some digging to confirm this horrendous fact and found this article from The Independentthat made me audibly gasp at my desk. Shigeru Miyamoto, the creator of Mario and for all intents and purposes, God of Nintendo, said this about his most famous creation: “Aside from the fact that he’s about 24-25 years old, we didn’t define anything else.”

Mashable Trend Report Decode what’s viral, what’s next, and what it all means. Sign up for Mashable’s weekly Trend Report newsletter. By clicking Sign Me Up, you confirm you are 16+ and agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Thanks for signing up!

I was taken aback. Not only is Mario even younger than 26, it's the only thing about him that is actually set in stone.

We don't need to get into why Mario is not 26, do we? The man is not 26. I am 26. Mario is my father's age at the very youngest. This is obvious. In the Super Mario Bros. Super Show!he was portrayed by a 56-year-old man. It is unrealistic -- nay, it is irresponsibleto lead us to believe that Mario is 26.

Something is terribly wrong. It was incredibly obvious to me now that Shigeru Miyamoto had gone mad with power. His God complex knows no bounds and the only thing I knew for certain was that he must be stopped.

I did more digging on some of the other characters in the Mario universe. A decision I would soon come to regret.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

"It is not power that corrupts but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it." - Aung San Suu Kyi

I simply could not believe my eyes.

Why has nobody stood up to Mr. Miyamoto? This tyrant? This authoritarian who rules Nintendo with an iron fist? How did this responsibility fall to me? Will nobody else stand in his way?

I am here to put a stop to this. I am officially in charge here since nobody else seems to be. I am taking the reins. I will be your champion.

Mario is hereby 45 years old. This is now official canon. Luigi is 43.

Hear my Decree:

Mario is hereby 45 years old. This is now official canon. Luigi is 43. The mushroom on Toad's head is part of his head and he doesn't have hair underneath it. Please respect this as official Mario lore.

I have willed it, and so it shall come to pass. The days of Young Mario are behind us.

---

Featured Video For You

---

Get better, stress-free sleep with this weighted blanket

---

• Shopping
• Digital Culture
• Deals
• Games
• Entertainment
• Social Good
• Science
• Tech

• Inside the Murky Process of Getting Games on Steam
• A guide to cellphones built for kids
• Federal judge: A social media ban for kids under 14 is unconstitutional
• The One Thing Next
• Virtual Reality: The True Cost of Admission (and Why It Doesn't Matter)
• Paul vs. Alcaraz 2025 livestream: Watch French Open for free
• Best free online courses from Harvard University
• The next Meta VR device may not look like a Quest headset at all
• Q&A with tendercare founder and CEO Shauna Sweeney
• How to watch the Tony Awards 2025: Can you stream it for free?

• Amber Tamblyn's unusual pregnancy announcement has a strong message
• Apple's clever (and kind of risky) plan to dominate the week before its big event
• Vine is dead, but these legendary Vines will live on forever
• No facepaint required: 9 insanely easy makeup
• Apple updates 21.5 and 27
• iPhones infringe on three Qualcomm patents, jury rules
• Mindy Kaling autobiographical teen comedy is coming to Netflix
• Brilliant Amazon Prime Halloween costume really delivers
• People are relating hard to a new 'Toy Story' character's lust for the void
• Famous landmarks around the world turn green for St. Patrick's Day

• Whale Vomit Episode 5: Startup Monarchy
• NYT Connections Sports Edition hints and answers for June 4: Tips to solve Connections #254
• Best free AI courses in June 2025
• Best Apple deal: Take 18% off the 15
• Best robot vacuum deal: Eufy Omni C20 robot vacuum and mop $300 off at Amazon
• Nothing reveals launch date for its next flagship phone
• Musetti vs. Tiafoe 2025 livestream: Watch French Open for free
• NYT Connections Sports Edition hints and answers for June 3: Tips to solve Connections #253
• The strangeness of Japan's decision to start openly hunting whales
• Google's visible watermark on Veo 3 videos is practically invisible

• 4GHz CPU Battle: AMD 2nd
• Brennan Lee Mulligan on 'Dimension 20: Cloudward, Ho!' and bringing steampunk to the dome
• Best Apple deal: Save $80 on Apple Watch SE
• Do your digital due diligence this EOFY
• What cracked the Milky Way's giant cosmic bone? Scientists think they know.
• Best gift card deal: Get two $50 Uber eGift Cards for $75 at Costco
• Nintendo Switch 2 preorder guide: Price, release date, restocks
• What is Palantir? The secretive tech company working with Trump
• Japan orders Google to stop alleged antitrust violations
• How to watch the Tony Awards 2025: Can you stream it for free?