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The The Babysitter porn movieSuper Bowl of tech is officially underway, and Tim Cook wants you to know that his team is already solidly in the lead. Possibly because they're in such good shape?

The Apple CEO addressed a crowd of journalists, fanboys, and Apple employees Wednesday morning at the Steve Jobs Theater, with all the pomp and circumstance we've come to expect from the company that gave us "one more thing." It just so happens, of course, that the one thing turns out to be threethings this year.

SEE ALSO: Is Apple just naming its phones after Doritos flavors now?

But before Cook got to the main event, the new iPhones, he started off with something a little more prosaic: the Apple Watch. He noted that it's not just the number-one selling smartwatch, but "the number one watch, period."

Cook added that Apple aims "to put the customer at the center of everything that we do," and that the Apple Watch is one of the company's "most personal products."

"For millions of people around the world," Cook expounded, "Apple Watch has become an indispensable part of their daily lives."

After some watch-related announcements, we then were treated to a watch promo video set to "The Hokey Pokey."

iPhones

Finally, Cook got to iPhone — what we know you all came here for.

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"iPhone X has changed the industry, and along the way became the number one smartphone in the world," he told the crowd. "Today we're going to take iPhone X to the next level."

"By far the most advanced iPhone we have ever created," he said of the new iPhone XS Max.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

But then he pretty much got out of the way, letting SVP of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller do the heavy lifting when it came to introducing the iPhone XR, XS, and XS Max — and their respective price points.

At the end of the presentation, Cook hopped back on stage to give quick updates on the HomePod and AirPlay 2. He also explained a new update to tvOS.

"There are now over 100 video partners available through the tvOS app," he said — almost as an afterthought.

New updates to macOS Mojave, available September 24, were also teased.

"So what a great morning," he told the cheering crowd.

"At Apple," said as he Cook closed out the event, "we are always pushing our products forward and making technology more personal. We hope that you love these new products as much as we do."

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