Game shows have panty sex videobeen delighting America -- nay, the world -- for decades. But one game show in particular still reigns supreme in my heart: Shop 'til You Drop.
So why hasn't it been rebooted yet?
SEE ALSO: I tried living like Tom Brady for a weekOkay, it's generic. And okay, it's extremely similar to Supermarket Sweep, a show that might actually be getting a reboot. So it's understandable that the lesser fans among us have forgotten just how great it was.
But if any grocery store show (niche!) deserves a reboot, it's the nonsensical, creative masterpiece that is Shop 'til You Drop.
Shop 'til You Drop, which appropriately aired sporadically between 1991 and 2005, was, in a nutshell, way complicated.
Rather than using one main idea like "trivia" or "more difficult trivia" as its foundation, this show had approximately 8,000 different mini-games, rounds, and challenges. You could be guessing the names of random household items. You could be answering pop culture trivia questions. You could be going on a shopping spree.
As a child, I wanted nothing more than for an average-looking American man to guess the exact price of window cleaner so that I could cheer when he got it right. And I want that now, also. As an adult.
Let's take on a trip down memory lane.
On Shop 'til You Drop, none of the mini-games had names. Their only legacy is the way fans like me attempted to describe them to their friends, which I assume made those friends think Shop 'til You Dropwas some kind of fever dream.
In one challenge, a pair of contestants stand on either side of a wall. In front of each of them: a table with a bunch of hats on it, each hat representing a country (a beret for France, etc.) One person in the pair puts on a hat. Then, out of sight of their partner, they must yell out words associated with that hat's country. Their partner must guess the country to which they are referring, then place the corresponding hat -- from their own table -- on their own head.
This must take place in under one minute.
SEE ALSO: Why is SpongeBob so damn meme-able?Let me ask you this. Who doesn't want to see Mary and Melvin guess the price of a soccer ball, then lock in their guess by putting on shorts with the corresponding price on them? (For those having trouble visualizing this, see below.)
And who, pray tell, doesn't want to see a man dressed in a bunny costume dancing behind the host of Shop 'til You Drop? A bunny whose purpose on set not even the most accomplished scholar could possibly comprehend?
And whoamong you doesn't want to see Jason shove his head through seven celebrity posters? Who doesn't want to see Jennifer do horrible impersonations to help him guess at least four of the celebrities his face just destroyed?
Yes, I'm sure you're still thinking, "But Supermarket Sweepwas still the grocery store game show of the ages, and the grocery store game show that rules my heart." But hear me out. Supermarket Sweepconsisted primarily of contestants running as fast as they could through a grocery store with a grocery list and trying to get the most expensive items. And you can do that any day so long as you nanny for a rich couple on the Upper West Side. It's child's play.
Shop 'til You Dropis something much better, much deeper. Like, imagine you thought of Supermarket Sweep, but fell down, hit your head on the pavement, then tried to remember what your original idea was. It's like that.
I'm still thinking about Shop 'til You Drop, and you should too. Bringing this show back may not be what America thinks it wants, but it's what I want. And it's the change America needs.
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