"What's up,real mom gives me sex videos guys!" seems like it's become the greeting for every single YouTuber with more than 50 followers. And I'm tired of it.
Because what usually follows "What's up, guys!" is 10 to 15 minutes of talking about something that's going to happen, with only the bare minimum of showing anything. I love videos about process so much. But in 2018, YouTuber culture feels more like a soapbox for people who think they have way more to say than they actually do. Sure, there are exceptions. But sometimes you just want everyone to shut up for a second.
SEE ALSO: Hackers just took down YouTube's most popular videoThat's why I would like to take a moment to celebrate those YouTubers who've remade the platform in their silent image, lsetting their process speak for itself.
Here are some of my favorite channels, featuring the quietest personalities YouTube has to offer:
I can't be the only one to love this type of video. After all, this sushi-making video from JunsKitchen was #1 on YouTube trending today. While he talks in some of his mostly delicious-looking cooking videos, many are peaceful, soothing, and totally mesmerizing.
Plus, his cats couldn't be any cuter.
AlmazanKitchen is another cooking channel — one in which the chef only cooks in the forest. Luckily for those of us who've grown tired of people talking, he lets his environment and the food make all the sound for him.
Truly, there are some beautiful dishes to witness on this channel.
SethEverman is more of a music-creation channel. However, he lets the music (and his hilarious dead-eyed stare) do all the talking. He's a super gifted musician who uploads a lot of funny stuff. I heartily recommend it.
This one is yet another cooking channel, but can you really have too many? I mean, we've all got to eat. Why not do it without a lot of talking?
This channel is especially good for the vegetarian or vegan who wants their YouTubers to take it down a notch — or seven.
The Miniature Novice is a really neat crafting channel in which a patient (and silent) person carefully creates tiny little items. It couldn't be cuter, or include fewer spoken words.
This channel, which I've written about before, is a tremendously peaceful and delightful one. The host quietly takes the viewer along, making things from scratch including paper and makeup, in a gorgeous setting.
It's a beautifully shot and contemplative channel that's sure to relax you.
The granddaddy of all quiet channels has to be Primitive Technology.
This absolutely stoic man creates everything — from an ax to an actual house (with under-the-floor heating!) — using the most basic implements possible. And he does it all with impassive, determined quietude. It's really amazing to watch the mechanical, patient brilliance that he exhibits. This channel should be followed by everyone who needs a little bit of a soothing slow-down.
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