If you've heard his songs,sex party video which, given your possession of a Wi-Fi enabled device, you almost certainly have, chances are you have a strong opinion about singer/songwriter Ed Sheeran.
Sheeran's catchy, acoustic ballads are contentious, to say the least. Something about the singer has seemingly split the world down the middle between those who like Ed Sheeran and those who feel... differently. After the musician appeared on the Season 7 premiere of Game of Thrones, the debate began again, stronger than ever before.
SEE ALSO: I'm Ed Sheeran and you can all go to hellIn an attempt to capture and bottle the public debate, we asked two of our writers with opposing viewpoints to sit down and discuss Ed Sheeran. Unfortunately, the only two writers who volunteered were Tyler Schmall and Max Knoblauch: two lunatics who are both obsessed with Ed Sheeran. What follows is their unedited conversation:
TYLER SCHMALL: I personally think Ed Sheeran is the best musician of all time.
MAX KNOBLAUCH:In my opinion, he has transcended music and entered the realm of the greatest members of our species.
TYLER:I agree with you. I would also like to add, that this does indeed imply that I think Ed Sheeran is a better musician, in every possible sense of the word, than each member of The Beatles and also Mozart. Mozart is dirt under the feet of Ed Sheeran.
MAX:We have no disagreement. We are not at odds with one another. Ed Sheeran is the Lamb of God.
TYLER:Max, I agree. I believe that Ed Sheeran was touched by the Great Divine Being above. His musicianship is the greatest ever seen by humanity.
MAX:I agree. The light of Ed Sheeran has ruined all other art for me. I have been to Rome, I have been to the Sistine Chapel, I have listened to Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" atop the Cologne Cathedral while staring out at the setting sun. And I feel numb through it all, having listened to "Thinking Out Loud."
TYLER:I agree. Ever since I listened to the chill acoustic folk-pop stylings of Mr. Sheeran for the first time, all other music has lost its luster. No longer can I listen to the incredible vocal prowess of Freddie Mercury or the marvelous, sentimental songwriting of Paul McCartney and feel any inspiration. I believe this to be a side effect of having heard the actual voice of God through His prophet, Ed Sheeran. I have combed through the Bible and there are many passages which I believe speak about Ed Sheeran directly.
MAX:I agree with you. Shall we discuss and analyze one of Mr. Sheeran's finest songs?
TYLER:We must.
Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive
- excerpt from "Photograph" by Ed Sheeran
I believe Ed Sheeran wrote this song specifically about me.
MAX:While I can't say with certainty that Ed Sheeran wrote this about me, it certainly SEEMS that way from the outside. The line "It is the only thing that makes us feel alive" is something I think about a lot. Believe me, I have TRIED to think of something else that makes us feel alive. I have spoken to countless doctors, neurologists, psychotherapists, and they all say the same thing: "Ed Sheeran is correct."
TYLER:Max, while I respect your opinion, I have to disagree. I can say with 100 percent certainty that God's own angel Ed Sheeran wrote this song about me. I know this from the line "Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes." These are unique sentiments that I hold near and dear. You see, I have experienced firsthand that loving can hurt sometimes. It would be too strange of a coincidence if Mr. Sheeran didn't write this song about my specific experience. That being said, this song makes me cry so hard that I need hydration therapy.
We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time's forever frozen still
So you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home
- excerpt from "Photograph" by Ed Sheeran
MAX:Love! That fickle and untamable beast. Lust, evolved, turns to something more -- but what? To describe the feeling with merely words is to do it a disservice; a cosmic lie helped along by history's "greatest" writers. Until, that is, Ed Sheeran.... I also like that it's catchy!
TYLER:O... basking in the insightful lyrics of Ed Sheeran is an unending ballet of grief and jubilation; each emotion dancing together as one. To listen is to experience, and to experience is to live. We've only a short time on this earth, why waste a single precious second withoutthe heavenly voice of Ed Sheeran permeating through your ears and soul? I ask of you, why?
MAX:Did Ed Sheeran do "Despacito?"
TYLER:I am intimately familiar with the entire breadth of the Ed Sheeran discography. It is all I know. He did not do "Despacito." If somebody else did, that is information I would not know. All I know is Ed Sheeran.
MAX: I bet he could've done it, though. And that's the whole thing about him! You never know what he's going to put out next. Each song is a new color, seen by man for the first time.
Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul
And it's the only thing that I know, know
I swear it will get easier,
Remember that with every piece of you
Hm, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die
Hm, we keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts were never broken
And time's forever frozen still
So you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone
- excerpt from "Photograph" by Ed Sheeran
TYLER:I have listened to this song so many times that it is actually embedded in my DNA. Scientists are baffled.
MAX:About a week ago I was listening to Ed Sheeran on the subway and singing along to the music as loud as I could and someone yelled, "Shut the hell up, Ed Sheeran sucks." In a blind rage, I tried to pry the doors open on the moving train and push the man out. It took 10 people to subdue me and I have a court date later this week. What I like most about Sheeran's music is that it calms me down.
TYLER:I agree. There was one month in 2014 where my headphones broke, and I was unable to listen to Ed Sheeran. I don't have any memory of that month. It is completely blacked out in my memory. I am scared. What did I do in that month? I don't know.
MAX:Something similar happened to me. It scared me, too.
TYLER:Yes, I agree.
MAX:Yes, I agree.
ED. NOTE: Max and Tyler have both been fired and we have called the police.
Thanks for reading Mashable Humor: original comedy every day. Or most days. We're people, just like you, and we're trying our best.
Topics Game Of Thrones Music Celebrities
Best iPad deal: Save $80 on Apple iPad 10th GenNYT mini crossword answers for April 15, 2025Best smart bulb deal: Get 43% off Lepro B2 AI BulbsNYT mini crossword answers for April 13, 2025Today's Hurdle hints and answers for April 13, 2025With iPadOS 19, Apple might once again try to make the iPad more like a MacNetflix tests out new AI search engine for movies and TV shows powered by OpenAIGet the Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra for $400 of at AmazonSony PlayStation 5 price goes up in Europe and Australia'The Last of Us' Season 2, episode 1: Why 'Curtis and Viper' is importantTrump admin already walks back smartphone, laptop tariff exemptionBest Echo Pop deal: Save $10 at AmazonGet the Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra for $400 of at AmazonReport: Dell, HP, Lenovo pause laptop shipments to U.S.Apple plans cheaper Vision Pro as tariffs threaten costsToday's Hurdle hints and answers for April 14, 2025NYT Strands hints, answers for April 12National Pet Day 2025: Deals at Chewy, Bark Box & moreAI action figure trend: What it is and how to make yoursNYT mini crossword answers for April 14, 2025 What's a 'mesh network' and how do they work? Michael Douglas denies sexual misconduct allegation before they are reported Guillermo Del Toro loved Natalie Portman's 'all Mark Wahlberg paid millions over Michelle Williams for reshoot Canada got so cold, this man could ice skate down his own street Skiin's 'smart' underwear takes fitness tracking to the next level Fisker EMotion electric car debuts at CES, inspires drooling Mark Wahlberg was allegedly unhappy with 'All The Money' replacement Comic super villain Peter Thiel reportedly submitted a bid for Gawker The Central Hall at CES 2018 just lost power, and people cheered The 'Overwatch' League launched with no female players, but plenty of excuses Remote controlled fighting robot is here to battle it out Meltdown and Spectre fixes for Windows 10 cause issues for AMD users Cryptocurrency miners exploit unsuspecting public WiFi users Kodak announces its own cryptocurrency and sees shares rocket Google and Lenovo launch standalone Daydream VR headset and camera DeepFrame augmented reality window turns you into life 'Pokémon Go' will no longer work on older iPhones Millie Bobby Brown responds to Niall Horan's 'Stranger Things' tweet Vintage Wendy's training videos are catchy as hell
1.162s , 8636.859375 kb
Copyright © 2025 Powered by 【sex party video】,Unobstructed Information Network