【Lee Do】

I don't understand why people subject themselves to cruise vacations.

You're stuck aboard this enormous ship with a few thousand total strangers. The Lee Domass-produced food is mediocre at best. The range of activities is pretty much limited to drinking, swimming, gambling, and eating. Plus, if something ever goes wrong -- illness, inclement weather, crimes, you name it -- you're dealing with it on a boat in open waters.

Hasan Minhaj, the host of the weekly explainer series Patriot Act with Hasan Minhajon Netflix, agrees. In fact, in a new episode titled "The Real Cost of Cruises," he trots out a parade of facts that make the gripes listed above seem quaint by comparison.

They're terrible for the environment, for one. On top of being legally permitted to dump "food waste, cargo residue, cleaning waste, and animal carcasses" right into the water, cruises also a big air polluter as well.

In one news clip shared during the episode, we learn that Carnival -- the most popular of the cruise companies -- burns so much fuel that it emits more sulfur dioxide into the air around the coast of Europe than all the cars in Europe, combined. Sulfur dioxide is the key contributor to acid raid.

Cool!

Cruises are also not a great place for kids. Like, at all. In one of the episode's segments, Minhaj talks about a disturbing trend of children drowning in shipboard pools. The reason for that is simply stunning: no lifeguards. The Royal Caribbean and Norwegian cruise lines didchange that practice... in 2017. (Yes, the 2017 of only two years ago.) But Carnival? Nope.

In fact, you can see it right there on Carnival's website. The "pool safety" page on the cruise line's website features the question: "Do you provide a formal lifeguard program?" The subsequent answer doesn't explicitly say "no," but folks? It's a no.

We’ve put a lot of thought into our safety programs. We have made and will continue to make significant investments in training our employees through highly respected water safety training organizations on water safety, CPR and first aid as well as being prepared to initiate proactive intervention if necessary.

The episode explores a number of other issues as well: worker abuse, the tendency for crimes committed aboard ships to go unpunished, the lack of protections for guests who suffer any kind of tragedy or mishap, and the shady practices these companies engage in to dodge taxes and accountability. Much of it has to do with the fact that these ships operating in international waters are governed by maritime law.

A big piece of it goes like this: each ship needs to be registered with a country, but the companies themselves can choose where they register. So even though Carnival, Norwegian, and Royal Caribbean -- the three largest providers -- are headquartered in Miami, their ships are registered in and fly flags for Panama or the Bahamas.

That means the rules aboard those ships are governed by Panamanian or Bahamian laws and tax codes. So the cruise lines are paying lower taxes, for one. Further, passengers aren't necessarily protected by the laws in their country of origin. It is straight up easier to get away with committing a crime on a cruise ship, because it's often not in the company's interests to see that wrongdoers are prosecuted.

There have been some efforts in the U.S. to curb this sort of thing. Minhaj points to a couple of laws that aim to rein in the most troubling risks. But as he points out, vaguely worded legislation can only do so much. What's more, with cruise vacations doing multiple billions of dollars in annual business, the lobbying apparatus that works in favor of those interests is powerful.

That's actually a common theme across multiple episodes of Patriot Act, and something we should all be paying careful attention to. For all of his lies, toxic policies, and personally reprehensible behavior, Donald Trump had one idea right, at least in the words he used: the Washington, D.C. "swamp" is very real.

Trump of course has done exactly the opposite of "drain" that swamp, of course. But the way money is wielded as a weapon in politics to protect big business and neuter or outright kill pro-consumer legislation is something Minhaj has focused on again and again. It was a problem before Trump became president, and it will likely continue to be a problem long after he's gone.

I feel the same as I did before after watching the latest episode of Patriot Act: cruises are an awful thing to spend money on. But the beauty of this show, and the reason we've recommended checking it out more than once, is all Minhaj. His talent for breaking down everyday things that feelwrong and backing those feelings up with (frequently chilling!) facts is second-to-none.

Patriot Actcontinues one of the most informative and enlightening ways to spend your time every week. Catch it on Netflix now.