【Twilight the Porno and Other XXX Parodies】

Thank goodness Nintendo officially unveiled the Switch 2 on Twilight the Porno and Other XXX ParodiesThursday morning, so we can finally talk about it without resorting to rumors and leaks.

Nintendo pulled the curtain off its newest home/handheld console, and just like everyone expected, it's a beefier, more powerful Nintendo Switch. The two-minute reveal trailer is tantalizingly short on substantial information on the console, unfortunately. Aside from a look at what it looks like and a tease of one new game, there isn't much to talk about.

But let's talk about it anyway. Here is everything new you can see in the Nintendo Switch 2 reveal trailer.

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Mouse-like Joy-Cons with a mysterious new button

What's that new button all about? Credit: Screenshot: Nintendo/YouTube

The big question with every new Nintendo console is "what weird stuff do the controllers do now?"

With the first Switch, the "gimmick" (if that's even the right word) was that they could detach from the base unit and be used either as two separate controllers, or together as one. That appears to still be the case with Switch 2, but there are some very noteworthy differences this time around. For starters, they attach to the system magnetically now, as opposed to sliding onto and off of a rail like they did before.

That's just a minor procedural change, though. Beyond that, there's a mysterious new button on the right Joy-Con underneath the home button. It's unmarked, though the internet has taken to calling it the "C" button. I've seen speculation that it could have something to do with voice chat, and that would make some sense, but nothing is confirmed yet.

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The real juice, though, lies in the fact that the Joy-Cons can apparently be used like computer mice. The video isn't superexplicit about this, but at one point, the Joy-Cons slide across a flat surface, with the part that attaches to the Switch 2 face-down. Over the past few weeks, there have been a lot of rumors suggesting there would be mouse functionality on the new Joy-Cons, and I can't think of any reason for Nintendo to include that bit in the video if that weren't the case.

Bigger display

That's a big boy. Credit: Screenshot: Nintendo/YouTube

This isn't a surprise or anything, but the actual unit looks to be 15-to-20 percent bigger than the original Switch. Part of that is the display, which we don't have precise measurements for yet. However, it looks massive compared to the old Switch, with thinner bezels that make it more of an edge-to-edge display than what the original Switch had.

Not much more to say about this, really. That screen looks a lot bigger and better. Hopefully it's sharper than 720p this time.

A new kickstand

That looks a lot more sturdy. Credit: Screenshot: Nintendo/YouTube

This will undoubtedly get buried underneath the more substantial and exciting changes, but the Switch 2 has a full-body kickstand now instead of the flimsy little thing the original Switch had. My launch Switch's kickstand broke after like three months, and I don't think I ever even used it as intended. This one will presumably be more durable.

Mario Kart 9, presumably

Last but certainly not least, there was a very quick glance at one new video game in this trailer. Yes, just one, and it's not much.

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That is definitely a new Mario Kartgame. Take it from me, a person who has played like 300 hours of Mario Kart 8: This is different. Donkey Kong has been redesigned to look more like he did in the movie, there appear to be more racers on the track than before, and the track itself looks very large. There's also a roadside diner in the shape of Yoshi's head, which is adorable.

I really, reallywish Nintendo had shown us more, as there wasn't a single new or surprising thing in this video. We'll just have to wait until April 2, when Nintendo has confirmed there will be a Direct to explain and expand upon all of this.

Topics Gaming Nintendo