【The Erotic Adventures of Zorro】

Ever wanted your phone to have The Erotic Adventures of Zorroeverything? Like a battery that's big enough to accomodate six regular phones? Or a massive loudspeaker? Or an actual projector? Or another friggin' phone built into the back of the first phone?

Ulefone's got all of that covered. The company specialized in rugged phones which also come with additional functionality.

At MWC Barcelona, Ulefone brought a couple of new phones, including the Armor 33 Pro and the Armor 34 Pro.

---

You May Also Like

---

---

SEE ALSO: Samsung has phone concepts that bend, stretch and fold in every possible way

The Armor 33 Pro is an absolute beast of a phone, with a 6.95-inch display, a Dimensity 7300X 5G chip, 12GB RAM, 512GB, and a 50/50/64-megapixel camera trio on the back, with that 64-megapixel sensor having night vision capabilities.

Got space on the back? Let's slap another, smaller phone on there. Credit: Stan Schroeder/Mashable

These specs don't actually mean anything until you've seen the phone. It's about as thick as three regular phones, as it packs an absolutely monstrous 25,500mAh battery. It also has a huge loudspeaker in the back, and an additional display (for some reason) that makes this thing feel like an odd two-phones-in-one combo.

Mashable Light Speed Want more out-of-this world tech, space and science stories? Sign up for Mashable's weekly Light Speed newsletter. By clicking Sign Me Up, you confirm you are 16+ and agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Thanks for signing up!

A projector on top, and a very bright LED flash on the back. Credit: Stan Schroeder/Mashable

Then there's the Armor 34 Pro. It has the same specs (including the big battery), but instead of the extra display and loudspeaker it packs an actual 150lm projector built into the top of the phone.

Via Giphy

There's also a 1,200lm LED flash on the back, probably bright enough to scare several bears away should you encounter them in the forest (do not ever try this, the author of this story is joking and knows nothing about bears).

SEE ALSO: Best of MWC 2025: The age of ultra-thin phones is upon us

Ulefone didn't say how much these phones weigh, but my estimate is at least half a kilogram; in other words, these aren't your regular, pocketable phones, even if you're used to big, rugged devices. They are specialty equipment that also happen to have a phone inside. Or two.

These phones can withstand a lot of punishment. Credit: Stan Schroeder/Mashable

If you have to ask, these phones should also be near-indestructible, up to IP68/IP69K and MIL-STD-810H specs. This pretty much means you can use a high-pressure water jet washer to clean these phones, and that's after you've dropped them into the mud from a 5 foot height.

Software is based on Android 14 for both devices, and it might require some polishing as it wasn't very responsive when I tried it, but hopefully it can get ironed out until these phones hit the market.

There's no word on pricing, and exact date of availability is a mystery, though these phones should launch in China soon.

Topics Mobile World Congress

• Games
• Entertainment
• Deals
• Science
• Tech
• Social Good
• Digital Culture
• Life

• The Perishable Politician
• Reciting Sagas in the Westfjords of Iceland
• Katori Hall on Hoodoo Love by Dan Piepenbring
• Watch: Sheila Heti on Writing Her First Story Collection
• The Online Culture Wars
• “A Major Poet of Quiet”: Ben Lerner on Keith Waldrop
• “I Couldn’t Dig It”: An Interview with Arthur Miller
• Listen to a 2001 Interview with Pat Barker
• Fresh Hell
• Staff Picks: Meryl Meisler, Les Blank, and States of Undress

• Storms on Jupiter are way better than storms on Earth
• Sony reinvented air hockey with augmented reality
• Boy finds a message in a bottle that traveled 1,000 miles in 4 years
• How a sketchy cryptocurrency mining app got into the Mac App Store
• Dark Souls legend beats all 3 games in one sitting without getting hit
• New Hubble photo shows 2 galaxies ripping each other apart in a merger
• Elon Musk says Boring Company tunnels are not primarily for cars
• Samsung Galaxy S9+ teardown reveals that it's nicely symmetrical on the inside
• Incredible savings at Amazon on a LG 55
• Activists and families of gun violence victims protest with 7,000 shoes on Congress' doorstep

• Of Damages and Dog Whistles
• Nude Bookplates: Should They Exist?
• Louder than Bombs: An Interview with Joachim Trier and Jesse Eisenberg
• In Praise of the Ugly Cry
• Putting Millions Back to Work
• Whiting Awards 2016: Alice Sola Kim, Fiction
• Watch: Tao Lin Recalls Writing His First Story Collection
• An Excerpt from Blutch’s “Peplum,” a Graphic Novel
• Making Sausage of Salazar
• Bring on the Batemans, and Other News by Dan Piepenbring

• Condo-Maximum
• Nude Bookplates: Should They Exist?
• Watch: Ben Lerner Remembers Writing His First Poetry Collection
• This Is Your Last Chance to Be Hugged By a Cartoon Character
• What Comes After Resistance?
• The Borges Memorial Library: A Brief Survey of Imaginary Books
• Happy Tartan Day by Sadie Stein
• Listen to George Plimpton Interview Norman Mailer, 1998
• No Re-Turning Point, U.S.A.
• Before Writers Hated Computers, They Loved Word Processors