【competition and eroticism in alcman's partheneion [1 pmg]】

Once upon a time,competition and eroticism in alcman's partheneion [1 pmg] I prayed for 2016 to end. Now I'd do anything to get it and its incredibly corny hot takes about dead celebrities back.

Let's be honest -- 2017 was a bad year. There were heroic moments sprinkled throughout, including the time the almighty Congresswoman Maxine Waters walked away from a group of reporters and launched her superstar career. A feminist hippo was born. Someone made whatever the hell this is.

But by and large, 2017 was a year shaped by anger and Donald Trump tweets and Sean Spicer holocaust revisionism.

SEE ALSO: Someone created a storm lamp that produces lightning every time Trump tweets

Experts in authoritarianism advise people to take notes about the world changing around them (for the best round-up, check out Amy Siskind's history here). When you're living in a state of constant chaos and trauma, it's easy to forget about the time Donald Trump implied that Frederick Douglass was alive.

Here's a look back at the year we thought couldn't get worse, then did.

1. January 10th

We learn that the President of the United States may have colluded with the Russians because he peed on a bunch of sex workers to piss off Obama, and there may be *copy* of the tape.

2. January 20th

Trump is inaugurated. His inaugural speech includes a terrifying vow to "end American carnage." My mom cries a lot.

Via Giphy

3. January 21st

Trump cancels his plan to visit the Museum of African American History on MLK Day, having spent the week attacking civil rights hero Congressman John Lewis. Sean Spicer lies about the size of Trump's inauguration.

4. January 27th

Trump signs a Muslim ban on the same day he "forgot" to mention Jews in his remembrance of the Holocaust statement.

5. January 28th

Trump promotes a white nationalist, Steve Bannon, to head the NSC.

Via Giphy

6. February 8th

Mitch McConnell punishes Elizabeth Warren for reading a letter from a civil rights hero and an overused hashtag was born.

7. February 13th

Michael Flynn resigns. Someone takes a pic of Trump and the nuclear football at Mar-a-Lago.

8. February 15th

The Southern Poverty Law Center reports that hate groups increase for the second year in a row, blaming Trump as one of the contributing factors.

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9. February 17th

DHS Secretary John Kelly establishes VOICE, Victims of Immigration Crime Engagement, a department that will, among other things, publish a weekly list of crimes committed by undocumented immigrants. This was a tactic used in Nazi Germany.

10. February 22nd

The Trump administration rolls back an Obama era executive order protecting transgender students in schools.

11. February 28th

Trump overturns a critical mental health regulation, making it easier for the severely mentally ill to buy guns.

12. March 1st

After a spate of anti-Semitic bomb threats and cemetery desecrations, Trump implies the Jews were responsible.

13. April 1st

Still no pee tape.

Via Giphy

14. April 13th

The U.S. military drops something called the "MOAB" (Mother of All Bombs) on Afghanistan because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

15. April 18th

Trump deports the first DREAMer.

16. April 28th

The USDA rolls back Michelle Obama's school lunch standards because Michelle Obama did it.

17. May 4th

The House passes Trumpcare, and Paul Ryan gets one step closer to achieving his dream of ripping 25 million Americans off their health insurance.

Via Giphy

18. May 10th

Trump fires James Comey, Democrats forced to feel bad about James Comey.

Via Giphy

19. May 12th

Sessions directs his prosecutors to ask for the maximum punishment possible, in a victory for advocates of mass incarceration and the 1980's.

20. May 25th

Montana Republican candidate Greg Gianforte is charged with assault after he bodyslams a reporter. It's cool, though -- he wins his race anyways.

21. June 1st

Trump announces that he will be withdrawing the United States form the Paris Climate Agreement on behalf of the people of Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh issues a "Hell no."

Via Giphy

22. June 14th

A lone gunman shoots a group of Republican Congressman at a game, injuring four.

23. June 28th

Kris Kobach, Vice Chair of the "Presidential Advisory Commission on Election Integrity" sends a letter to 50 states requesting wildly invasive data about their voters. 44 states tell him to stick it.

24. July 26th

Trump, a man who avoided military service because he claimed he had a boo boo on his footsy, bans transgender service members from the military.

25. July 31st

Inthisexchangewith@Acosta,StephenMillerjustsaidthatthepoemontheStatueofLibertydoesn'tmattersinceitwas"addedlater"pic.twitter.com/n4YWrIBeeC

—ColinJones(@colinjones)August2,2017

27. August 12th

A protestor is killed at a rally for white supremacists in Charlottesville. Trump refuses to unequivocally condemn the group responsible, arguing that there are good people "on both sides."

28. August 15th 2017

Trump says that shit again at another press conference.

29. August 25th, 2017

Trump announces he'll basically end DACA. I think because he is cranky.

Via Giphy

30. August 27th

ICE abandons 50 immigrant women at a bus station during Hurricane Harvey.

31. Also August 27th

Trump pardons Sheriff Arpaio, who had been found guilty of racial profiling and once built an insufferably hot outdoor jail, "Tent City."

32. September 13th

Trump tweets a GIF of himself hitting Hillary Clinton with a golf ball. That's our president for ya!

Donald Trump's amazing golf swing #CrookedHillary pic.twitter.com/vKhxxFCBV1

— Mike (@Fuctupmind) September 14, 2017

33. September 20th

Hurricane Maria devastates Puerto Rico and parts of the U.S. Virgin Islands, leaving the islands without power or clean water for months.

34. September 22nd

Kim Jong Un calls Trump a dotard, Trump retaliates with something insane, and everyone VERY REASONABLY panics for a month about the nuclear holocaust.

35. September 29th

The Mayor of San Juan accuses Trump of leaving her island to die. At the time of her comment, at least 16 people had died because of the Hurricane, though estimates say that number is likely close to 500. FEMA General Jeffrey Buchanan says the damage the worst he's ever seen.

San Juan mayor says the hurricane death toll in Puerto Rico could be 10 times higher than reported https://t.co/08Em92C81C pic.twitter.com/blRh7qPOFu

— CNN (@CNN) November 4, 2017

36. October 1st

Stephen Paddock opens fire on 22,000 concertgoers, killing 58 people in the deadliest shooting in US history.

37. October 5th

The New York Times publishes a devastating number of sexual abuse allegations against Harvey Weinstein. Weinstein is now facing more than 60 accusations of sexual harassment and 27 of sexual assault.

38. October 7th

Congress briefly considers a bump stock ban and other forms of gun control, but nah.

39. October 8th

Senator Corker says Trump is putting us on a path towards WWIII, does nothing to prevent it.

40. October 12th

Trump announces he'll be rescinding the order that gave Obamacare subsidies to the poor.

41. October 16th

A report from The Associated Press finds that Puerto Ricans have resorted to drinking and bathing in contaminated water with raw sewage.

42. October 18th

Trump starts a Twitter war with a gold star widow.

Democrat Congresswoman totally fabricated what I said to the wife of a soldier who died in action (and I have proof). Sad!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 18, 2017

43. October 25th

Senate passes bill making it impossible for Americans to file class action lawsuits against banks.

44. October 31st

John Kelly pulls the "there were good people on both sides" argument about the civil war.

45. November 3rd

Donald Trump asks the DOJ to go after his political opponent, which isn't authoritarian at all.

46. November 8th

Election anniversary! I get into three separate Twitter fights about Bernie and Hillary.

Via Giphy

47. November 9th

An Alabama woman comes forward and accuses Roy Moore of sexually assaulting her when she was 14. The number of accusers continues to grow in the weeks that follow.

48. November 17th

The United States records its 318th mass shooting of the year. There are more mass shootings in the United States than anywhere else in the world.

49. November 21st

I publish this list, deleting over 150 tragic events because they were too depressing to enumerate and leaving room for hundreds more.

Here is a Maxine Waters GIF to cleanse your palate.

Via Giphy

Congratulations to everyone on sort of making it through 2017.

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